or “How To Get Beat Up at a Footbag Tournie..”
Here is a bunch of tips and tricks on how to have some fun while playing some bag with your fellow footbaggers.
1. The Foreigner
Talk really loudly in your own language about somebody who doesn’t understand a shitcrap of what your saying.Keep on doing it for a while. Sound angry or amused.If he asks what you are talking about say something like ”Ehh, nothing dumbass?” or ”None of your business twat sandwich!”If you don’t speak anything other than english you can invent your own language and speak to random people passing by..
2. Shit Talk
This one is all about being creative. The reason why you wanna piss off people is because it’s fun and it’s more fun when you are creative.Talk to people while shredding, do it loudly and talk to them in a way that makes them feel that they should react to what you are saying.Examples: Keep repeating challenges until they do them (far legover bsos is a good one), ask them stupid questions, talk about yourself, disgusting or smartass stuff works the best (everybody hates people talking about themselves)! Basicly be creative!
3. The Ignorant Snake
This one is my fav – When A passes to B snake the bag with a nice little toe flick and start a run. Stop after a couple of tricks and act like you seriously thought the bag was for you.Claim you thought it was a passback or something..Works even better second time.
The name pretty much say itself – be a gross mofo.People care a lot for their bags – use this for your advantage. Spit on the ground and on your insides and tell them about stickyness.Scratch your ass and pick up the bag with that hand etc.
5. Mess Up
This is the obvious one. Just don’t follow the etiquette.Pass the wrong way, Toe scuffle, Self serve, Give props when you shouldn’t and don’t when you should etc.
Written by Asmus Helms
Illlustrations by David Owen Beyers Aka boats
As you probably have understood already it is easy to piss off people in a circle. The real skill is to make them reaaaaally mad! Don’t let them leave the circle early. Get them fired up before they leave. For example about self serving: don’t do it every round. Do it until they comment on it, then take a break for a couple of rounds and then start doing it again.And most important hold your mask!
Any resemblance to real players is intentional and should be taken serious.All of these techniques have been tested and works.
No I have never been beaten up by footbagger. But I have been close.